Broken On The Wheel

Time is a flat circle
Nothing ever stays the same
Nothing ever goes away for real
We are mere versions
Incarnations of the same
Old same old
Wicked wizard puts us in a tube
That spits us out
Every time
With
Slightly altered setup

Nothing ever goes away for real
The oracle man said,
“Some people re-enter your life at pivotal points,
They never go away for real”

“You just have to trust me,”
Said the youngest one
Trust is more plentiful at that age
When we have experienced
Only few incarnations
Wicked turns of the test tube

Nothing ever stays the same
When you wish the most it did
It keeps changing
For better or worse
In sickness and health
The wheel of destiny is the same
One we´ve had our bones broken on
To be broken on the wheel means forced to
Accept that time is a flat circle
And nothing ever goes away for real

Station Morningstar

I am in love with a man
That I talk to in my head
And he responds to me
Through lyrics on the radio
He told me I made music come alive
Why don´t we tune into the station
And ride off into the sunset
The prophet rolled all sixes
Why don´t we tune into 66.6
Station Morningstar

No Way To Love

When I brought about your lust
You said there is no love in this connection
You said that you cannot have this life where
There is no love

When I gave you my heart
You said you said you were not ready
You said that you cannot have this life where
There is no lust

There is no way to love you
Simply
There is no way to love you
Safely

The only way there is to love you 
Dangerously
The same way I write

Marriage

For better or worse
In sickness and health
I am on my own

I´d better not forget
The promises I have given
Or I will be reminded
In not so gentle ways
By the lord of this world
He holds the signet ring with my name on it
Carved out in ancient finish lines
There rests my eternal maiden name

Yet time and time
I latch onto false hope
And I seem to forget
That this is who I am
And that I am on my own

Only In The Mind

The all powerful gods
They say even the all powerful gods
They were scared of Cupid´s arrows
For they brought about the worst of all curses —
The curse of unrequited love

I went to a wise woman
I asked her what help is there for those of my kind
Maybe she could give me amulets and potions
To cure my unrequited love

She looked at me and said
There is no mercy, child

She said,

The only solace —
Be with him in your mind

She said,

In the end all things are real only in the mind

Only in the mind, I said to myself
That is where I have lived
For so fucking long
That I am surprised
I haven´t been
Evicted

Given Time

I think the harshest thing
About love is the
Given time
The time that is allocated
For each of our romance
To play out

We think it is there forever
That this window of opportunity is
Ours to grab at any time
And so
We doubt
We halt
We falter
We play silly games
With the body and the mind
In our folly we do not realize
The fleetingness of time

I remember that
When we met
We both felt
So strong
About each other
We felt that
It was one of
Those encounters
That stop time
You told me back then
One meets people like that
Once in every ten years
Or perhaps fifteen

You told me I was
The woman of your decade
But you´ve been wrong
And I relied on that count
The missing years were lost
In the promises we gave to each other
In the promises I could not recover
I realized that
We have wasted our
Given time

Little Bird

I´ll be the little bird in the cage
That you told me about
You said you´d like to keep me in a cage
Just for your pleasure

I´ll be the little bird you pictured
In a jeweled cage with comfortable pillows
That added a real nice touch

Many had come up with the jewels
But you were the only one
Who thought about the pillows

I´ll be the little bird you didn´t want
I´ll be the little bird that you
Forbade yourself from having
When you suddenly stopped
You stopped yourself in that train of thought
You said it out loud
What is this shit
This is some sick shit
That I am saying

And so it never came through
The jeweled cage with the pillow
The bird was let loose
But I stayed confined
By all the promises that were broken
A little bird with a broken heart

The Men I Have Loved

I am telling you that one day
I am gonna take them out
The whole bucket list
I will take all the men
That I have ever loved
I will turn them into characters
Of literary fiction
Make them all kill each other

Maybe I will let you survive
You have been the smartest
You are the oldest too
It is no fun to kill an old guy

Out of all the men I have loved
Maybe I will grant you mercy
I will let you live to tell the story
Of the kind of love that knows no bounds
I will write a dozen stories about you
I will make you die a natural death in all of them
I will mourn you
In the most sentimental ways
So that on the day you die
I will not be so devastated

Three Times The Charm

We almost met two times before
Twice before it came together
Two times it was almost love
Almost
And then one of us
Finally said it
They say three times the charm

When you came you had three gifts for me
They were charms but it didn´t matter to me
That you had me spellbound

Only when you walked away from me
I became slightly worried
About the love spells
That you cast

So I walked down to the river
Your gifts I threw them into the river
That flows through my home town
When I stood by the river

The swans took notice they all came closer
They laughed at me it was a sordid laughter
I bet they know

I bet they know we think them to be
Symbols of true love
I though that was cruel

I broke the spell
But it didn´t matter
Because eventually my river flows
Into the same ocean as yours
So if you then took my gifts
And threw them into your river
As well in your home town
Like us they will meet inevitably
Some day on a garbage pile
In the middle of Atlantic

Love After Dark

Love is victimology at its finest

Crimes of passion
Fill this film noir

Love is such an ungodly thing
That you might only
Ponder it seriously
After dark

With a glass of wine

You may need a full bottle
When you go confront
The ghosts of betrayal
In the alleys
After dark
After dark

Love has claimed
Many a victim among those who
Went out after dark

After dark
After dark

Make sure your gun is well stashed
Deep inside the drawers
Tucked among the bedsheets
When you go on
Pondering love
After dark

Things That Could Have Been

What if all the things that could have been
Exist on another timeline

What if I didn´t board that plane
What if you arrived an hour later
What if I didn´t like the place after all
What if she found out about us

What if my dad was right
What if I didn´t pick up the phone
What if the cops didn´t know any better
What if I will never get to know the whole story

The things that could have been
Keep piling up under my carpet
Like a body count

What if he straightened out eventually
What if he went back to drugs
What if I had kept the baby
What if I didn´t sell out

What if it got out of hand
What if I walked away too soon
What if he lied to all of us

If I were to bury
Every single one of those timelines
I wouldn´t be able to find a big enough shovel

So I live them out
Somewhere else

In another corner of the time-space continuum
I live out all my lives
In a place dedicated to all the
The things that could have been

He Loves You

He loves you

He loves you but
He loves his power more

He loves you but
He loves his wife more

He loves you but
He loves his habits more

He loves you but
He loves his ideas more

One thing I have learnt is that
It is vain to compete against habit
You can try with ideas and wives
Perhaps even with power
But you won´t ever win against the habit
Just like they told me
We know he loves you
But he will always
Love drugs more

The Books You Keep

 I came up to your library and asked what is your Bible

Which of the books that you keep would be the one

You know the Art of War by heart so that must be it

You live to keep up the fight

 

I found you a book by similar name

I brought you the Art of Love

You said you had no place for it

Not in it this age and time

 

I left it with you anyway

I know you would keep it in your closet

For anyone who comes here after us

But since we know that nobody is coming 

You will keep

It there

For us

To Hell and Back

I would go to hell and back

With you

I said I would go to hell and back with you 

And so you let me know

That is where we are

About to go 

 

I would go to hell and back

For you 

I said that I would go to hell and back for you 

And now I know

That is where I need to go

Because that is where you are found 

 

You said

This world is a dark dark place 

You said

That most people have no idea

What the world is about

You said

That the end is coming

So how do you go from that place 

Into the light?

 

Only by the grace of god 

The god you know nothing of

Only by the grace of god

Who has betrayed you

Only by the grace of god 

The same god who said 

Blessed are the ignorant 

Blessed are the meek 

And the stupid

Most of all

 

In moments of darkness 

You pray to the god that is not there

That he makes his absence more visible 

You don’t like it

For the fallen to hold onto false hopes

The faith of the fallen 

There is no glory in defeat 

I Was Happy

I was happy three times this year.

 

The first time it was with you

When you asked me to get married

I was happy for three days in a row I was ecstatic

Before I realized it´s just a plot to keep me

And that nothing will ever change

 

The second time I was happy

When you whom I had long wished to come back

You came back and you gave your all

But too much time had passed

I guess it just came too late

 

For the third time I was happy

When you showed up when least expected

Because I always wanted to get close to you

They say three time´s a charm

There was that magic

I was happy

 

I still am happy though I am writing in past tense

One day past tense is all we shall have

You said we are headed towards death

That a man´s life is all about duty

With happiness an occasional by-product

Well I am doing my part here

In putting this on paper

Writing has been my duty all along

I’m not going to deny it

I was happy when I was writing

I was happy when I was still writing

So maybe you had a point

 

I was happy when I was writing

Even though life was rough

The numbers in the love equation don´t add up

But people keep asking for the stories

And that brings hope to my life because

If you live to tell the tale

Then anything that happens is alright

There´s no need to judge it

Just type it

 

So I was happy when you scorned me

I was happy when you built me up

I was happy

Because I was writing

I had a hell of a thing to write about